Monday, October 11, 2010

You Think You're a Man, But You're Only a Boy, You Think You're a Man, But You're Only a Toy

Ah, you GOTTA love nuveau-homocentric techno music. Don't you agree? There's nothing better than heavy synthesizers and an all to prevalent driving beat. Lovely.

Moving on. *changes to Across the Universe album*

There we go. Writing music. Nay...too.....I don't know. Now where do I keep that shuffle button....

Anywho...I'm beginning to think I'm over-susceptible to advertising. While watching the Cottonelle commercial, I was fully convinced it was the only toilet paper for me. Why? Not because of it's promised strength or guaranteed comfort, or even attractive packaging. No, no...nothing that sensible. It was, in fact, the extremely endearing golden lab puppy getting spa treatments and telling me to 'be kind to my behind'.

Being twenty-two I thought I had escaped the naivete of my youth. The child-like fascination with bright colors and talking animals. Nope. I'm just as roped in by these as ever. If a puppy can convince me to buy enough Cottonelle to practice mummification, what other things in life have I fallen for too easily just because of the attractive sheen given to the pitch? I can think of a few toxic friends and exes that presented an all too superficially attractive 'product' only to be left disappointed, hurt, and wishing I had gotten the extended warranty. Or at least wishing I had found out before the thirty-day return policy had expired.

Which brought me to another thought...people, are products. When we meet a new person, even if we just want to be friends, there's almost a 'trial period' where we're getting to know each other. During this period the other person can decide whether or not they want to continue being your friend. A lot of people change their tune during this time. All of the sudden they become more agreeable, laugh more, and interested in what the other person has to say. It's like a live commercial.

This trial period in the mating game is called the first three dates. The first date being the most critical. All of the sudden the girly girl LOVES football, and the nerdy boy 'isn't much into online gaming'. We say what we think the other wants to hear- especially if we're deeply attracted to them. We make it seem as if stress, anger, and any negative emotion never even crossed But later, after the 90 day return policy has expired, the claws come out. All of the sudden, she feels as if he alienates her for video games, and he feels as if she spends more time on her appearance than with him. The fighting, arguing, and stress begins.

We're all guilty of it. I doubt anyone can say they successfully put it ALL out on the table on the first date and lived to see a second. I wish there were a CarFax for people.

"Well, hello. Can I take you to dinner sometime?"

*hmm, he's cute. Well dressed. Great smile. No ring."

"Sure, just show me the BaggageFax"

"Uhhhh...I'll take you some place REALLY nice."

"Great, just, show me the BaggageFax."

"I'm worth over a million dollars."

"Uhhh, k, but I just want to see the BaggageFax."

If only I could market a service such as that. Don't just go on dates willy-nilly (YES, willy-nillly, I went there), get the BaggageFax! Guaranteed to help you avoid the Douchebags!

So basically people who can actually rope someone into actually marrying them are masters in marketing...

I wish it weren't like that. I wish we could lay it out on the table and not run the risk of watching the other person haul ass...away from you. But maybe you're not meant to word vomit your past onto their lap on your first outing... I guess all I can ask is that people, whether on a first date, or meeting new friends, just try to be more honest, without being TOO intimate too soon. Maybe instead of admitting you've spent the past week playing Sims 3 during every waking hour you were not at work and saying 'I'm pretty into the Sims....' or instead of saying you take two and a half hours getting ready you could say 'I spend a considerable amount of time preparing to go out, but the end result sure is worth it'.

I don't know. I just operate under an honesty is the best policy. Don't say you like something you don't, don't say something doesn't bother you when it does, and DON'T pretend to know about or like something you don't. It will come back to bite you in the ass. I can almost guarantee it.

So next time you're on your next Marketing Outing just remember....not too much...not too little.


You know you <3 me


Read more: http://www.myspace.com/lorelai507/blog#ixzz124t1Z5H4

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