Tuesday, July 6, 2010

That Felix guy....the LUCKY one!

I was Facebook stalking one of my best friends, and his status was "really needs to stop being idealistic and needs to start being realistic". This saddened me.

This friend was one of the most optimistic people I knew. He was who I went to when I wanted unconditional love and to just be happy and have fun. Don't get me wrong, he was great at serious and in-depth conversations, as well. I just knew I could count on him for the brighter outlook on life.

What happens to us? One moment, we're looking around and everything has this Wonderland-sheen to it. Flowers are bright, honeysuckle is strong in the air, and the sun feels nice on our skin. The next minute, everything appears grungy and broken, flowers go unnoticed and untamed, all we smell is car fumes, and the sun gives us a first degree burn.

When does this happen? When does the world go from being this place with flaws we could not see? When did we wake up and become unblinded, disenchanted, and jaded? I used to believe in true love, that everyone had someone. The idea is a laughable concept at this point. I used to believe that all humans were good on the inside, and when given a choice, would always do the right thing. That, I know, is not fact.

I don't want this friend to become a realist. I admire his bright outlook and ability to see the best in others. Those are both qualities I will never possess, but I want him to. I want there to be at least someone on this earth that has a smile on their face instead of a taught, lifeless look. I guess this makes me the world's biggest hypocrite, but I guess that young, naive child that live so happily in Wonderland is still inside me, and maybe that's why I'm so drawn to this friend.

I don't know.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

This Time, Baby, I'll Be Bulletproof

Do you ever get so carried away by music it feels like it's washing over you and you're in this crazy vortex of emotion? No? I'm the only crazy person out there?

Well, then. Fine. I like being a little crazy- makes every day an adventure.

That blinking cursor is so rude. It's reminding me that I don't have a lot to say anymore. It's so demanding, not only does it follow along while you write, but it sits there and dares to BLINK, just to show you how impatient it is. Rude.

It must be related to my mother. It feels the need to constantly remind you what time you were supposed to arrive at the wedding, and to further worsen the problem of your lateness, it's going to sit there and tap its foot, nagging about how your lateness is why you're single.

Don't get me wrong, I know I complain about her a lot, but I love my mom. In fact, as much as a I hate to admit it, but I'm a carbon copy of her. In the midst of a nag-fest at Randall for not lining his shoes up, I'll be thinking "Geez, Lor, shut UP"- but I can't stop my mouth! It's like nagging is a knee-jerk reaction- I can't stop! I'm a nag junkie! Oh, Lord. Watch me pop out of my casket at my funeral and start bitching at the funeral director because the flowers were not arranged according to color and height. You watch. It's going to happen.


Does anyone else ever make up music videos to the songs they're currently listening to? I used to want to be a music video producer. I can't dance to save my life, but I would come up with this complex dance numbers that would be absolutely insane, I would have to end up writing the description. I would come up with color themes and symbolism I could insert into the context. I loved it. I actually miss working on video making. TV productions was the only class I actually liked in high school, and certainly the only reason I showed up the few times I did senior year.....

I'm weird.

So...I've started a post about frats and sororities. Who wants to see it?