Monday, November 8, 2010

Goldfinger, Twist, and Split

As directed by my lovely friend Alexa, I am updating this blog in order to allow for easier stalking (as if my Facebook did not inundate the general populace with information of my every move) ;)


This weekend was one of my dearest friend's birthday. (Was that worded correctly? Ah...oh well). Not just any birthday, mind you, no....his twenty-first birthday. Combine that with the fact that he has a twin sister who knows less about makeup than a three year old but more about World of Warcraft than most guys at ComiCon, it made for a really crazy weekend.

It all started Thursday when Sam and I took his sister (Liz) shopping for clothing. I'm of course flattered knowing that my friends hold me in the highest regard in all things fashion, hair, and makeup. (Homegirl may not be the prettiest or the best dressed, but I at least know how to get there). I believe it all stems from years of Disney movies, Barbies, older sisters, and thousands of glossy pages of magazines that I devoured as quickly as I could get my hands on them. I started looking through Seventeen and Vogue when I was about four, and around seven I discovered InStyle magazine along with Cosmo. (I would sneak them out of the trash my sisters tried to have -ME- sneak outside for them- we weren't allowed to read this type of material- the Devil's work and all). I loved opening the magazine and watching all of the subscription cards fall to the ground, the different perfume samples wafting upwards, smelling rich and decadent. The only other thing that gave this a run for its money was opening a library book...

I was bored by any article talking about 'sex' this and 'men' that (I had no idea what either was, really). All I knew was that I wanted a closet full of Chanel, Choo, Blahnik, Valentino, Versace...all of the best. The beautiful models with their long, shiny hair and feminine features taught me everything I needed to know in life. I wasn't exactly the coolest kid, I didn't have that many friends and my siblings didn't really talk to me. Much of the time I was left to my books and my imagination. The magazines took me to a mature and beautiful place; one where I was successful, pretty, and important. My dirty overalls, muddy hands, and scraped knees may have been what was on the outside, but inside I wanted to be a princess. Why couldn't I be both? Why couldn't I make mud pies and jump out of trees and ruin almost every pair of shoes I had ever been given, but have pretty dresses and wear eyeshadow too?? I was determined to play baseball and superheroes by day, and be like the models in those magazines by night.

I'm still trying to find that balance. I digress, I will spare you my rant about how if a woman were to act assertively and act any sort of power-hungry she is demonized and made into some whore or "wicked witch".

Alas, another day, another time.

Moving on, so we went to the mall. Sam's sister Liz has the body of the models in my magazines- she's tall, thin, and toned. She has a beautiful bone structure, perfect smile, and dark, understanding eyes. The only problem is- she doesn't know it. Not only did she already have problems with her appearance, she dated a guy that exacerbated the problem. I just want to shake women like that and be like "REALLY!?!?!?!?!". I'm the only one in my group of friends that has any right to hate their appearance.

Moving on.

So of course, we try a million different item in many different colors/cuts/fabrics/etc and she looks amazing in all of them. Though she was very patient and cooperative, I could tell shopping was NOT her favorite thing. So we quickly narrowed down choices and found two AMAZING dresses that looked FANTASTIC on her- she looked like she stepped forth from the pages of Vogue magazine from a 'winter in New York' type spread.

Shoot me now.

(Don't get me wrong- I love Liz. She's one of the funniest, nicest, and smartest people you will ever meet. But did God REALLY have to combine that with looks??!?? REALLY??? Oh, and that goes for Sam, too. Some people just come into this world in the good gene pools...the rest of us crawl forth from stagnant puddles....)


So the first night we go to one of the more stereotypical 'college bars' in this town. Think lots of Greek letters and peroxide blonde hair. However, a good time was had by most (save for some minor, drunken, belligerent drama amongst friends- but is that EVER avoidable???). I will give this bar this, no cover for girls (heck yes) and good drink specials (HECK YES). Though, I saw enough girls with blatant daddy issues (and working them out right there in the club for all to see)to last me a lifetime; and I'm still unsure as to whether the smell of hairspray and cheap cologne will ever leave my nose. Well, our own Ms. Liz get a PHONE NUMBER!!!! This guy was floored by her. Sam got very, very hammered (his birthday wasn't technically until midnight, but they gave him the 21+ band anyway). His heavily-lidded eyes and lopsided smile were endearing to say the least. So, we all had fun, went home, and recovered for the next days' activities.


On Saturday I had to get Liz, our friend Katie, and myself ready this time. After making sure the other two were taken care of I started on myself (not before we had a hair train of me doing Liz's hair and someone blow drying mine). It ended up to where I was smoking a cigarette and straightening my hair at the same time in order to reduce stress. Go me. Someone poured me three shots in the kitchen to take on our way out the door (they were more like triple shots but yours truly tanked them regardless).

All was going smoothly!!

We start the night at a new club here called The Library. It was decorated with sumptuous leather couches and hundreds of books lining the wall- I finally felt at home. It reminded me of places in Chicago (a place I hope to make my hometown some day). We of course see Sam's ex's new boyfriend (the one he waited about a minute after he and Sam broke up to date) who proceeded to give Sam the Stinkeye (yes, it's capitalized) ALL NIGHT, and he was accompanied by none other than the most ridiculous girl I've ever met, whom I have the misfortune of having to work with. OF COURSE.

Go us.

All in all, the night ended on a normal note for most. Another day, another time for why my night went into the trash can before it even started. Regardless, I had a lot of fun. We are making winery plans for Christmas break, ooh and the Symphony.

Stay tuned for more mundane commentary from this girl :)