Thursday, December 23, 2010

Dating on a Budget- Maybe It's Something We Should Splurge On

Being the cliches that we are, my friend Kassy and I were discussing men and relationships one evening. We were discussing our egregiously terrible taste in men. At this current juncture we have collectively dated what could be considered the world's worst collection of bachelors. Our new motto is "There's always something"- meaning, that no matter how amazing a guy may seem, there's a catch. He could be cute, smart, funny...but he's unemployed. Or, you meet a tall, charming, motivated young man who sweeps you off your feet only to be thrown back down to earth when you find out about his inability to keeps his eyes and hands on only one girl. Or my favorite, Mr. Total Package- loves commitment, manly, tall, handsome, funny- EVERYthing on the wish list. And then he turns out to be a complete homophobe, or a misogynist, or he drinks too much, or he has anger issues.

It's not like we're LOOKING for these issues- but they just keep popping up. It's to the point where we're tempted to start taking bets when one of us meets someone new as to what the issue will be- mommy issues? Commitment problems? A crazy ex?

Not that we don't come with our own carts of baggage. Anyone that knows me and anything about how I was raised knows I come with my fair share of luggage, and my own exes come with some warning labels. I know that mine are in check and aren't keeping me from healthy relationships at this point. Therefore, I feel as if Kassy and I (and most women, for that matter) are entitled to men that don't come with a truckload of deal breakers.

I developed the concept of dollar store men. As women, let's say we're given a dollar a week with which to purchase a man from the ManStore. Thus far, I've been the type of girl that once my dollar comes in the mail, I run to the ManStore and buy someone on the clearance rack. He's the 'there's always something guy'. I run right past the luxury models with great smiles and a fantastic sense of humor, and the don't even look at the tall ones who love animals and would protect me if need be- no, I run right to the ones with mommy issues, lack motivation, no ability to save money, are too immature, don't believe in monogamy, or any other litany of deal breakers.

While I'm passing my time with these fine examples of the human race, I'm too preoccupied to find, meet, whatever one of those luxury models. I walk right past them because I'm too busy trying to make my clearance rack reject into something half way acceptable- someone I can introduce to my parents and not die of humiliation after ten minutes. Maybe a whole hour would pass....

So what Kassy and I can draw from these musings is that instead of walking right past the new top of the line men, we can learn to identify the clearance rack rejects and learn to leave them where they belong- on that cluttered and dusty rack where they've been put for a reason. Rather, we're going to start banking our dollar allowances and just wait. Someday, that front of the store cutie with the broad shoulders and ambition will walk up to US- we won't even have to shop around for him. It'll happen, I just have to start saving my money....these impulse buys are getting old quickly.

2 comments:

  1. You could just get a puppy... That's what I did lol

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  2. I highly agree. Puppies, they're always in style!

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